


and sometimes there is no plan

by un_petit_peu_de_moi



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, future lionel messi/sergio agüero/neymar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/un_petit_peu_de_moi/pseuds/un_petit_peu_de_moi
Summary: Pep coming to Manchester should have been a chance but Kun just isn't good enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and angsty and it focuses on Kun but in my mind it's supposed to be a much longer story. There's barely any hint of Neymar in here but the way I plan it, this is supposed to be a polyamory fic where Neymar, Kun and Leo all fall in love. Maybe I'll get around to actually writing it one day, who knows.

That’s not the way Kun had planned his year.

The plan had been : Pep Guardiola becomes coach of the team, Kun scores all the goals, Argentina qualifies for the World Cup and Leo realizes he’s been in love with him after all these years.

The plan hadn’t been Pep screaming at him over and over again, telling him he was too fat, too slow, too fragile, not strong enough, not fast enough, not good enough, not Leo, he wasn’t Leo, he could never be Leo, because there was only one Argentina goal-scorer in Pep’s mind and Kun just couldn’t compare.

And Kun hadn’t minded because he wasn’t always wrong. He needed to get better and he’d never be on Leo’s level. He had listened and taken every words and he’d thought it would help him improve, that this was Pep’s plan to make him better. He’d realized too late Pep had no plan, he was just obsessed by past success and titles that were out of his reach.

His body gave out first, and he didn’t quite get what the doctors meant when they said ‘ _burn out_ ’. Kun was feeling fine, and he didn’t understand what this meant. Every explanation he got confused him because he wasn’t feeling bad.

It’s not until he arrived in Barcelona, because he’d been told to rest and Leo had said ok, ‘ _yeah sure you can come but I’ll be busy. I won’t be always there you understand right?’_ and Kun got it, he did and he didn’t mind - it’s not until he arrived in Barcelona that his mind crashed down too. Because Kun had wanted to see Leo, he’d longed after Leo, he’d spent nights dreaming about Leo, had spent a lifetime adoring Leo. Leo would pick him up from the airport, he’d actually taken time off to pick him up and Kun was _ecstatic_.

But when his plane landed, when he saw Leo there, hair hidden under a cap, a white shirt on his sturdy frame, pink tattoos making him stand out in a way that made the cap useless - when he saw Leo there, small as always, confident as always, Kun broke down.

He felt it, all the weight of Pep’s words, all the time he’d told him he would never be enough, and Kun had thought that meant he wouldn’t be good enough for Pep, would never have guessed it meant he would never be good enough for Leo.

Leo was there and he was the proof of his failures, he was everything Kun ever failed at, and Kun could do nothing more than cry, body giving out as he hyperventilated in the middle of the airport, camera flashes going off and it was going to be in newspapers Leo hated making a fuss in public hated those flashes he hated it he hated it.

And now Kun’s there. He can’t live with Leo like he’d planned, because every time he sees his friend he wants to throw up. Because every time they talk Kun feels worthless and useless and pitiful.

Leo had his Brazilian teammate accommodate him, because he lives alone and he’s nearby. Kun hates the guy. He gets to make Leo blush when Kun hasn’t managed to in years. He gets Leo all the year, gets to say he loves him aloud and no one bats an eyelash. Kun hates him.

But Leo said to go with him so now Kun’s there, in front of a big door, two red cars parked behind him and loud Brazilian music coming from the house in front.

Kun hates it. Though not as much as he hates himself.


End file.
